I hope my brother won’t mind me plagiarizing an email conversation we had on this topic, but Battlestar Galactica has completely confused me. They established in the BSGtime line already that the war with the robotic cylons was 40 years ago, and that it was “robots rising up against their masters”. So humans create cylons, cylons rebel, humans drive cylons away for 40 years, but cylons take that time to create other cylons that look like humans so they can infiltrate and destroy the 12 Colonies. Right? And now we are told that Cylons were also the 13thtribe that colonized earthand got wiped out 2,000 years ago, except for 5 that ended up with the 12 Colonies somehow. How is it then that the robotic creations of humans and the 13thtribe are both called cylons? My head hurts.

I haven’t had time to read any blogs about all of this, but I can’t be the only one who is confused, unless, as my brother said, maybe everyone else has already given up caring. If I put just a little bit more thought into this, though, things seem to get a little clearer. Here’s how I think it works: the 13thtribe colonizes earth, makes their own robots to enslave, who rise up and nuke the earth to free themselves from their masters. Sounds abit familiar. Five of the 13th tribe escape, however, (via scientological means) to the 12 Colonies, thinking all will be well. But the 12 Colonies make the same dumb mistake and create robots, which they call cylons. Meanwhile, the 5 are trying to “recreate their race” but somehow lose their memories and the blueprint for “their race”. That blueprint ends ups with the defeated cylons who have hidden away for 40 years, plotting to destroy the colonies:
Centurion 1: How are we going to sneak onto Caprica to blow it up. We look like toasters.
Centurion 2: Hey, don’t we have the blueprint to the 13th tribe? They look like humans. Let’s make seven of them to do it.
Centurion 1: Just seven? Is that enough?
Centurion 2: We can just clone those seven over and over, that way we don’t need to be that creative.
Centurion 1: Sounds like a good idea. What do we call these people?
Centurion 2: Well, let’s be real ironic and call them cylons too, huh?
Centurion 1: Oh, yeah, that’ll piss off the humans.
Centurion 2: And confuse them to no end if any survivors ever make it back to earth and run forensics tests.

So, I think I got it figured out now.

Sylar, live long and prosper.

November 19, 2008

When I was in grade school, I was Captain James T. Kirk. The little girl down the street, of course, was Yeoman Janice Rand. We jumped out her bedroom window to simulate the transporter and matchbox cars served as our Type I phasers and communicators (I had no idea then I’d one day have my very own Motorola flip-top communicator). Star Trek was on every day at 3:00 and I rushed home from school to watch it for many years to come. But I wanted more adventures, and soon Kirk and crew debuted on the big screen wearing pajamas and Klingons wearing bumps (the opener of that first flick with the Klingon cruisers was almost as good as the Star Destroyer opener in Star Wars…almost.). And still more came. Kirk had to face his most feared enemy, Khan Noonian Singh, embarrassed by having to wear his glasses (I’m allergic to retinox5). Reverend Jim converted to a Klingon. Spock got to be hippie and save the Whales. Kirk finally met God and found out, much to his dismay, it wasn’t William Shatner. And we finally got to hear Captain Baron von Trapp’s Klingon descendant recite Shakespeare as it was meant to be heard, “taH baH taH beH!” (I’m sure someone will correct my Klingon). And still more came. We had to start using acronyms to keep it all straight. When TNG premiered, I was so excited for a weekly dose of Trek that I completely overlooked that the melodrama of TOS had just been replaced by cheese. I was sure Trek was ruined when DS9 premiered, but Worf came along and saved it. However, by the time VOY showed up, Trek burnout was starting to settle in. I was so apathetic about Trek when ENT was in prime time, that I couldn’t even find myself caring that the captain of the ship looked liked he was always smelling a bad fart. Not even TNG movies were spared the trend. They started as pleasant as a mild cheddar, but ended up like a stinky old camembert. And so I was ready for Trek to die. Wondered why it didn’t. Thought maybe it should. And then J.J. found Sylar…
'Star Trek' Trailer
‘Star Trek’ Trailer

Whoa, Captain! What a rug!

November 8, 2008

Have you ever seen this book on the physics of Star Trek? Come on! How can you write a book that explains the physical laws of uncreative writing? Listen, I can live with explosions in space, dogfights in space, and spaceships “screaming” through space, the classic mainstays of Space Opera, but they are backdrop not plot devices. I just can’t hear anymore trekno-babble! If you ever get the opportunity to write for Star Trek, forget about wasting your money on that book. Here’s a crash course in Star Trek physics: Make up a cool sounding name for your new “particle”. Connect it with “subspace”. Finally, throw in something about “warp”. For instance, at a particular point in the story where you want to hammer in a plot device, have a character yell, “Our scanners have lost them! Their engines are leaking virtron particles, which have caused subspace fractures that are distorting their warp signature!” It’ll work, trust me.

There was this one episode of the Next Generation where (according to the official web site) a molecular mishap brings Picard and others back as 12-year-old children! The problem: (again according to the official site) they were affected by a molecular reversion field. The Solution: Use the transporter to reverse the effects. How hokey is this? I’ll bet that book doesn’t explain this one, and if it does, I’d hope it could explain a few other mysteries to me as well. For instance, if this field is a molecular reversion field how come their uniforms shrink to fit them? In the future, does cotton shrink in both hot water AND molecular reversion fields? Or maybe someone will authoritatively tell me that in the 24th century clothes are made from biological agents and therefore can be affected by molecular hokeyness? If that were true, then I’d expect the uniforms to revert to a younger version as well, not shrink. I’d expect Picard to materialize wearing an oversized uniform, but in the beautiful mustard-yellow of Captain Kirk’s gray poupon shirt instead. Maybe even with a rip down the chest and a bloody slash for good measure. Ah, it doesn’t matter how hokey it is, because we can just use the transporter to make them old again. For some reason, though, they can’t use the transporter to filter out disease, mend broken bones, remove cataracts, or take the hair off Picard’s back and put it on his head!

Energize! Whoa, Captain! What a rug!

Historical note: yes, I did edit and recycle this post from an old blog I once kept, but it’s dead now and I find my rant too clever not to use again🙂

Story arcs are what I like best in SciFi TV. Sure there are some decent episodes of good SciFi shows that aren’t sweeping in scope, but more often than not, that seems to be the downfall of SciFi TV – bad stories, bad continuity, nothing to bring you back for more. There is definitely something to be said for the old cliff-hanger endings of pulp cinema. And if you aren’t going for the episodic feel, make sure your SciFi TV is at least space opera. If you’re going to have minimal story-telling you’d better at least have lots of FTL spaceships, energy weapons, and aliens. The ultimate SciFi TV, of course, was Babylon 5. It had story and space opera, all rolled up into one great five year journey. Perfect. Some would say we have more “genre” shows on TV now than any other time, sadly though, B5’s formula has not been reproduced to any degree. Still, I continue to watch, or dvr, portions of the SciFi airwaves each week in hopes of being fractionally entertained. Here’s what I’m watching.

For some interesting characters, take a bunch of regular people who have flaws and make mistakes, give them some super powers, which seems like a bad idea, and let them figure out who the good guys are and who the bad guys are for themselves. But don’t make it easy, introduce a lot of intrigue, ulterior motives, hidden agendas, and clandestine plans to alternately destroy or save the world. Who you thought was bad might become good and what you thought would destroy the world might save it. Or maybe not.  Your guess at who is right and who is wrong is as good as that of the the characters. They have no more idea than you do. And that’s what makes me come back week after week to watch Heroes. It’s not your dad’s comic book heroes we’re talking about here. No Captain Do-Right-All-The-Time or Doctor So-Evil-He-Eats-Babies. The superhero archetypes have been completely destroyed by this show and remade into more realistic (albeit still outlandishly fictional) portrayals of super powered people who have to struggle against those that would manipulate them into choosing a side – good vs. evil, save vs. destroy – when it isn’t at all clear which is which. It’s almost like the cyberpunk equivalent of superheroes. Call it Superpunk, maybe. There is an overall story arc to the show, and they know how to keep hooking me to come back for more. Well worth the watch.

When Fringe premiered, I found it so hokey that I laughed through the whole episode. I decided to give it a couple of more viewing chances, and although I continue to laugh, I’m glad I did for now. There is some real promise of a story arc with “The Pattern” and “The Observer” and there are a lot of mysterious and intriguing carrots that get dangled in front of you each episode, but they will need to keep it up and make sure that they reveal just enough to hook me each week, otherwise, I might recoup my Tuesday nights for some other activity. Actually, the danger for this show is that it will keep me guessing for too long and not deliver enough to keep my interest going on a weekly basis. In my opinion, this is the problem with the other J. J. Abrams property, Lost. If I hadn’t watched all the four seasons back to back online, then the speed at which all those mysteries get exposed would have “lost” me after the first several episodes. The one saving grace for this show, if things move too slowly, will definitely be Walter. What a great character! Who said mad scientists have to be evil geniuses?  It’s just fine for them to be insane, burned-out druggies from the 70s who tinker in a secret lab somewhere in a Harvard basement and keep a cow on hand for the occasional experiment and a good glass of milk. Brilliant.

For months on end, the SciFi channel hyped up its new show with the chick from Stargate, now sporting black hair, still pretending to be young and sexy, and laying on an English accent so affected, that in some scenes, it reverts back to an American accent. Advertising did its job, though, and I was there to watch the first episode of Sanctuary when it premiered. After all, it was going to be great, brought to you by some of the same wonderful talent that brought you Stargate SG1 and Stargate Atlantis! And so far, it shows. There are two dimensional plots that have been done time and time again, weak characters that I don’t give a crap about and one insipid “SciFi TV” cliché after another. And what is up with the Geiko Neanderthal? His sitcom was a bust, so he came over to the SciFi channel to be in this show? And why does he sound suspiciously like a Wraith from Stargate Atlantis? I’m still watching, hoping that some interesting story arc will present itself, but if it doesn’t, I might not be tuning in for much longer.

Stargate Atlantis. Could there be SciFi TV more vanilla than this? Somewhere in Hollywood, I swear they have a SciFi TV combobulator. You input the names of some boring characters, choose from a few stereotyped aliens, choose one of four different plots, and out comes an episode of Stargate Atlantis. Change a few parameters and you’ll get an episode of Stargate SG1, Enterprise, or even Star Trek: Voyager. You never need to pay writers ever again. The only real difference between the two franchises being that in order to be alien, everyone in Stargate’s universe needs to live in a primitive village in the forest, even though they have something as technologically advanced as a Stargate or a spaceship at their disposal, and everyone in Star Trek just needs to have some kind of a bump on their head. I can’t figure out why I keep watching this show every week. I guess that no matter how stinky the stories and characters are, there are sometimes FTL spaceships and energy weapons, and in lieu of real space opera, this is all we’ve been getting while Battlestar is on its seemingly never-ending hiatus.

Anyone who knows me knows that I pee my pants every time the Star Wars theme starts up, even if it is in a different time signature. Yes, I am talking about The Clone Wars here. Who cares if this show looks like the Star Wars universe was genetically reengineered by the Thunderbirds. So what if the battle droids channel bad Penn and Teller routines. So what if a tweeny little padawan calls R2, Artooey, and Anakin, Skyguy. This is Star Wars! There are more FTL spaceships, energy weapons, aliens AND droids than you can shake a random, clumsy blaster, or a more elegant lightsaber for a more civilized age at. In the first episode, where Yoda and a bunch of clones are ambushed by battle droids, Yoda cackles like the crazy Yoda from Empire. It was so cool to see my generation’s Yoda surface once again. Although there is no mysterious overall story arc to pull me back week after week, the tales have been good, especially the three-part stint about General Grievous and his super battleship the Malevolence. The overall tome of the show is more light-hearted and adventurous like the old school Star Wars of the original trilogy era. It may be telling that George Lucas only produces and not writes or directs this series. Sure it is geared towards a younger crowd, but as I’ve posted before, I was a kid when Star Wars sprang into existence, so I have no problem with that. If I had to choose just one show a week to watch, this would be the one.

There are also a myriad of other shows out there that the networks tout as “SciFi”, Knight Rider, The Sarah Conner Chronicles, Eleventh Hour, Life on Mars, My Own Worst Enemy, etc., etc. I’ve seen a couple and wasn’t that impressed, and besides, I just don’t have the time or energy to invest in more than a few shows a week, especially when most of them won’t make it past a season or two anyway. I’ll let someone else review those. Now there is actually one more show I would watch if it were on, and maybe sometime soon, we’ll actually get to see it and finally find out how Battlestar Galactica ends.

It’s been more than a month now since the debut of Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters and just a week away from its coming out as a series on Cartoon Network. But don’t worry, I’m not going to do a review of the movie and try to convince or dissuade you from watching it on TV. You can go to umpteen number of Star Wars and Scifi forums where you can hear people rant or rave about it. Suffice it to say, IMHO, if you are a Star Wars geek, and you’re not worried about what your friends will think of you if you are over 10, you’ll probably like the movie and have a good time watching the series. In fact, it will probably be more fun if you watch it with a bunch of kids hyped up on “air” lightsaber duels. That way, you can use them as the perfect cover if you have to explain to your friends and co-workers why you watch it.

But on to my real topic. As controversial as the movie and the upcoming series seems to be to Star Wars “purists”, even more contentious to some is the music. The master himself, John Williams, doesn’t compose the music for The Clone Wars (after all, do you think they could have afforded Williams to do a TV series?), instead the job falls to Kevin Kiner, known for his Wing Commander score and music for Star Trek: Enterprise. And man, is he taking a beating by some in the reviews. Too much percussion. Too much synthesizer reverb. Too much use of electric guitars. All culminating in one barb I heard that went something like this: he’s ruining Star Wars music by making it appeal to a younger generation! What? First of all, since when does Star Wars need to attract young people? Kids stick to Star Wars like flies on Bantha Poodoo. Second, how old are these people saying this, anyway? Look, I first met Star Wars in 1977 at the age of 8. I’m probably around the average age, give or take a few years, of the “first generation” of Star Wars fans. To me, the original trilogy reigns. A New Hope is supreme! Now, I wholly admit that I enjoy classical music, mostly thanks to John Williams, but since when does this make me too old for percussion, synthesizer reverb, and an electric guitar? Come on! There are 60 year olds these days listening to the Rolling Stones. Artoo even tweets in “Obi-Wan To The Rescue” amid the electric guitars. Tell me that doesn’t get you old “purist” fans all excited to go download Meco’s Star Wars disco and listen to it like you know you did when you were a kid. I outright reject the argument that Kiner’s Star Wars music is not good because it has some non-traditional elements in it that supposedly only younger kids will like.

“You damn kids get off my lawn with your electric Jabba jive!”

Even Maestro Williams strayed a bit from the classics, and we all continued to loved him. Don‘t deny it. Can you say “Cantina Band”, “Lapti Nek”, “Jedi Rocks“, and “Victory Celebration”? If you listen to the whole saga, you’ll also notice that Williams introduced increasingly more percussion and non-traditional sounds in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Aside from the sound differences in Clone Wars, I’ve also heard a lot of complaints that Kiner has abandoned Williams’ themes altogether in his music. To that, I’d say go back and listen. Aside from the recognizable theme music in the Main Title and End Credit, if you listen carefully, you’ll find some more there. I swear I heard a bit of “Lando‘s Palace“, “Use the Force”, “Imperial Attack”, and a lot of musical phrasing that reminded me of Gungans for some reason. I leave it up to you to find more. Sure these aren’t major themes and mostly just musical impression, but they are fun nods here and there to the Maestro’s music.

Ok, If you are still reading this post, then you must really be a Star Wars geek. So I‘ll share with you my favorite song form The Cone Wars: “Landing on Teth” and don’t even complain about the use of voice or you’ll also have to criticize “Duel of the Fates” and Emperor‘s theme music.

Final thought: Whether you enjoy the music for Clone Wars or not, I predict that you, and everyone else who likes Star Wars enough to waste time carping about it, will be tuning in every Friday to watch the series on Cartoon Network anyway. So just admit you really like it and have fun like you were a kid again.

Kung Fu Panda

September 15, 2008

OK, maybe it’s not strictly Sci Fi/Fantasy, and maybe this gushing love-fest is a little late, but when you got little kids, dollar movies are about the only movies you see. 

 I loved Kung Fu Panda.  It reminded me of the old Kung Fu movies on late night television during my childhood mixed with the modern fantasy Martial Arts flicks (Crouching Tiger, Bullet-Proof Monk, etc.) with a little Jackie Chan meets Jack Black thrown in.  It wasn’t deep, it wasn’t epic, it was a cartoon.  And my two-year old spent the next two days saying, “Hiya!” and playing Kung Fu Baby with Daddy.

The Empire Strikes Me Again

September 12, 2008

I dearly love MST3K and sometimes I like to pretend I am Joel. Together with my trusty sidekicks Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo (the lamp and vacuum cleaner filling the roles) I sit down to watch a movie, crack wise, and amuse myself with a running dialog of trivia and observations (hm… come to think of it, I think this is my job description at work),

So this week when I noticed Spike was airing “The Empire Strikes Back” I hurriedly extracted the vacuum cleaner from its long closet slumber, plugged in the lamp and settled on the S.O.L. (Joel had his “Satellite of Love” and I have my “Sofa of Laziness”) to crack wise, harp on all the cheesy lines, and make merry at the expense of one, Mr. Lucas.

Now it has been a number of years since I have watched Empire (I think it was last viewed in its entirety on VHS) and for the first 15 minutes I was able to get off a series of riffs that would have made Joel proud. But then I started watching the movie and the wise cracks became less and less.

It is amazing to me that a 30 year old movie (well almost.. 1980) holds up so well. I have heard people say that this was the weakest of the original trilogy, but watching it the other night reminded me of the first time I saw it. To me, in 1980, this movie was like only one other movie I had seen (that being the original Star Wars). Back then it was the special effects and science fiction that captured my imagination. Even watching today the special effects are cool (yeah, today’s are better and you can tell when green screens were used) and when held in the context of time are still spectacular.

But the thing that I really enjoyed about this viewing was the story. Not the dopey superficial story of Darth Vader extracting his revenge, but the mythological story going on. Joseph Campbell called it the “monomyth”. Loosely the monomyth involves an epic, dream-figure hero who stands in for the entire culture. Campbell wrote, “The hero gives battle to the nursery demons of his local culture, and brings back from his adventure the means for the regeneration of the society as a whole”. He also described three stages to this myth: Departure, Initiation, and Return. Each of these 3 elements are present in the original Star Wars movie, but then they are repeated in the overall trilogy with the Empire installment being another “Initiation” stage. This movie hit home and I enjoyed it because it was a familiar story, one I have read repeatedly in literature. It actually has a deeper meaning beyond dialog and effects.

After a while it didn’t bother me that Yoda sounded a bit like Miss Piggy, or Lando had a funny way of saying Chewbacca, or Princess Lei is scared of Mynoks (yet can single-handedly take on a whole Death Star in a previous installment), or that Imperial ships have no shields that can deflect asteroids; I found the story very entertaining and left me wishing more movie makers would spend time building a credible classic story rather than figuring out how to make cars morph into robots and back again.

So my vacuum cleaning is once again relegated to the closet, the lamp has gone back to being a lamp and I will now cut Mr. Lucas some slack next time Star Wars is shown (but not too much).

Steampunk, of course. What is steampunk, you ask? Well, let’s ask the most reputable source on all matters, wikipedia:

Steampunk is a subgenre of fantasy and speculative fiction that came into prominence in the 1980s and early 1990s. The term denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often set in Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date…[read on]”

Here’s where you need to stop imagining Johnny in a corset. But seriously, I like a good steamy tale with a bit of punk in it. Who wouldn’t? Think of it! Feeding punch cards into a steam powered analytical engine. Siding with Sir Rodger Fitzpatrick Rutherford III on Mars while quelling a native rebellion with etheric oscillators. Signing onto an zeppelin crew in search of Her Majesty who has been kidnapped by clockwork steam robots. (All previous ideas copyright (c) 2008 by crodrazine.wordpress.com). The possibilities are only bound by what could be in what once was.

Here’s my top six favorite steampunk odditites (this week anyway):

1. Dr. Grobdbort’s Rayguns: http://www.wetanz.com/holics/index.php?catid=4
2. Steampunk Sith: http://ericpoulton.blogspot.com/2007/02/steampunk-star-wars-lord-vader.html
3. Movie – Steamboy (I even own it): http://www.sonypictures.com/homevideo/steamboy/index.html
4. TV – The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne (when will this series be on DVD? Come on! Maybe you’re lucky and have Space instead of SciFi channel, eh? I might finally give in and pirate it off ebay…): http://www.spacecast.com/shows_3313.aspx
5. Novel – The Time Ships by Steven Baxter: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Time_Ships
6. This cool steampunk desktop. Read about it on http://steampunkworkshop.com/lcd.shtml

Honorable mention – Dr. Who Episode, The Girls in the Fireplace: http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/episodes/2006/girlinthefireplace.shtml

All in all, though, I like my steampunk to be in a movie, on TV, or in a book. I’m not too sure about steampunk music and fashion. I find it a bit creepy, like adults who trick or treat without kids. There’s a lady where I work who wears black petticoats and corsets and she’s all old an wrinkly. It’s good entertainment from far away, but up close, it gives me the shivers.

Fringe – Edgy or Recycled

September 10, 2008

When I was really young I remember seeing fringe in all the Saturday afternoon westerns and on Daniel Boone. Then it became fashionable and even cool. Sony and Cher had it. Roger Daltry wore it. CCR had it on an album cover. The longer and more of it, the better. Now that I am older fringe is once again becoming fashionable. Only this time it is techno-fringe.

I am not a J.J. Abrams fanboy and have to admit not a big “Lost” fan (in fact I could swear I heard the Fonz revving his motorcycle in last seasons finale) but I decided to give his new show “Fringe” a watch.

While watching the pilot episode I couldn’t help thinking what happens if you cross “The X Files” with “Night Stalker”, sprinkle in a bit of “Twin Peaks” (the cow) and “Twilight Zone” (airplane), and add a dash of “Altered States” (the “tank”). I think you would have “Fringe”

Every few years (decade?) we are treated to a new incarnation of the SciFi-Mystery-Horror genre on mainstream TV and of course I must watch. Kolchak: The Night Stalker and X-Files (and related shows: The Lone Gunmen and Millennium (now on the Chiller network)) being 2 of my favorite TV shows (although I don’t consider the last 2 seasons of the X-Files real X-Files).

This time around Abrams and company have started us on another conspiracy theory laced romp of SciFi, mystery, supernatural and horror in search of the “Pattern”. Future Fringe appears to be giving us a veritable smorgasbord of standard genre elements psychokinesis, bionics, transmogrification and teleportation with some twisted humor thrown in (the cow again :-)).

The production quality feels much like “Lost” and my wife even commented the music is eerily similar. To me it seemed that Scully and Mulder have already been down this path, however, I found myself watching the full 90 minutes and promising to withhold judgment for a couple more episodes.

Also, in typical Abrams fashion there are some websites you should check out: http://massivedynamic.com and http://www.glowingmonkeys.com . Both were part of the pilot episode. Massive Dynamics is the name of the “Spooky Big Business” that will be part of the series and glowingmonkeys appears as a sticker on a light post. And of course the producers have deposited “Easter Eggs” thoughout to keep us hooked and trying to solve the mystery ( http://eastereggs.fringetelevision.com to play along).

And now I remember why I am not a big “Lost” fan. With my short attention span for pop culture it is just tooooo tiring to keep up. I am sure that after a while I will get burned out of the over-exposure (4 episodes seems my max) and need to take a break. The good thing is when I choose to return I can always catch up on

OK… if you read this blog you will know that I read “Wired” with all the fervor I can muster during daily “library” breaks.

I just received the latest copy and almost died laughing over the article on the “Star Wars Continuity Cop”. I was so loud that they guy several tables (stalls) away asked me if I was OK. I momentarily had a vision of paramedics breaking through the door only to find me dead from being oxygen deprived and “Wired” resting on my chest. And one of them says, “another victim that laughed himself to death over those stupid “Wired” articles….

Anyway, do we really need someone to keep track of the Star Wars universe for us? Is it so out of control that we need a master? Who cares if things aren’t nice and tidy (BTW… same goes for all those people who keep track of star dates.. Hello people, its a TV show!!!). For those of you who have saved a few dollars (and are missing out each month). Here is the article on-line (read it all and watch all the videos, Especially the Star Wars Christmas special one):

Meet Leland Chee, the Star Wars Franchise Continuity Cop

I wonder what would happen if I started publishing my own Star Wars stories on-line and didn’t get all the details and time-lines exactly right? I suspect instead of the paramedics some guys in Storm Trooper outfits would bust down my door with an order to cease and desist or pay George and his evil empire and stick to the prescribed time-lines and stories.

On returning to my office chair I decided to look the article up on the web to see what other kinds of items I have been missing out on. Low and behold someone at wired had posted an interactive time line that gives me some of the important dates and events in the Star Wars Universe AND they let people add their own:

Plot the Star Wars Galaxy

Be sure to read them all. My favorites so far include:

Terminator sent back to 1993AD (little did I know there was a tie between Terminator and Star Wars… Thanks Wired)
Star Wars Finality – George Lucas is hung for treasonous acts following re-release of episode 3 using neural retinal display networks
The Madness of King George – Happened somewhere last year or this. News to me also

Seems there is still a lot of crap for the master of the universe to clean up because some of the entries seem to disappear and new ones are continually appearing.